Grief Counseling with a Twist

Any time you suffer a significant loss or have a devastating event happen to you there is a sense of grief. It is not only a death. It can be a mini death of sorts.  For me, the latest besides bereavement for a close cousin, Ricky, and has been an ongoing struggle with grief because of my stroke. And yes, it has been over a year since my stroke. I am doing a similar blog on my writer's blog for stroke survivors on Sundays. For here it's for survivors.

I've actually mentioned the stages of grief in various blogs but I don't think I've ever broken it down like this before. I do know that I charged $100 for grief counseling sessions that lasted twelve weeks in my ministry profession. This is a gimme course that is free so take advantage of it.

So over the next five weeks I'm going to explain to you the stages as it pertains to your recovery. I will give real world examples of what I've gone through, coping skills, and exercises for you to do to gain a level of acceptance in conquering each step. After all, knowledge is power and control. It is something we as survivors rarely feel until we work through the process. Understanding is the key. Think you've mastered it all? You've been a survivor for multiple years and this doesn't pertain to you, think again. I've met dozen of survivors still grappling with these after ten or twenty years. Am I through it all? Yes and no. I'm still bouncing around the steps taking victories where I can as a stroke survivor. There is no quick or easy fix.

I've spent years in grief counseling both as a grief stricken person and as a counselor. So needless to say, I recognized it in my own stroke recovery as well. Grief is an individual process. Your success depends on you.

The Stages

And if you want to carry it farther into seven steps, you can.

Both apply in a case like a stroke. I usually combine Shock and Denial, and Bargaining and Guilt, the Upturn, Reconstruction with Acceptance. So my version is five steps while taking the seven into consideration. Now with death this process takes roughly a year to complete or maybe a little longer. With stroke recovery it may takes years! You may bounce between levels or be on multiple levels at the same time and you may gain acceptance in certain areas faster than others. It is not a linear thing or happen within the order given.

Why should survivors care about this? The ultimate of ultimates of recovery is to be...

•  the best you can be given the circumstances
• a more proactive survivor
• aware that this is going on and it's normal. Isn't it nice to be considered normal. <g>
• forewarned is forearmed

Knowledge is power. Foresight is awesome. Being prepared is everything. Tune in next week for the first installment...Shock and Denial. These will appear Sunday morning as well here.

Keeping faith and sharing the blessings.